Ghosts of Her Past
by rikubean
Summary: It's the fifteenth anniversary of Elphaba's death and Glinda's pretty much lost it. The citizens don't seem to care, until Gabrielle shows Glinda a picture that has haunted her for fifteen years. Disclaimer: NOT MINE!
1. Realization

**A/N: Okay, here with my first Wicked fic. Um… inspired by LadyBianca's "No One Mourns the Wicked, but What About the Good?" So, if you get the chance, read that. Last time I checked it was on page 20. Erm… completed on 7-31-04, if you wanted to find it. So, um… that's it. Please review, criticism accepted, flames… not so much. **

**Ghosts of Her Past—Chapter One: The Good Die Alone **

Glinda stared out her window at the celebration below. It was the fifteenth anniversary, yet the scares on Glinda's very being were still as fresh as they were in the beginning. She sighed and shut the window so she couldn't hear the crowd's jeers and people pretending to melt. _I should've stopped this madness long ago,_ Glinda thought. But she couldn't, not now.

Glinda hadn't been the same since she'd lost Elphaba. Her health was failing, and her hair had been gray since her mid forties. She was a shadow of her old self. Each year, when the anniversary rolled around, she'd been forced to smile and wave, and act as if she were truly happy, when, in reality, she felt like she were being torn to pieces.

_They say a hero dies once, but a coward dies a thousand deaths,_ she thought. _How many more deaths until I'm no longer… me? How many, until I'm just a shell?_

Glinda had quit attending the balls and parties after ten years. Ten long, long years. She knew there was gossip in the city about her. They said she went crazy. They had no idea what she had to go through just to get up in the morning. They didn't know what happened to her every time she saw two schoolgirls running through the city that she was instantly reminded of when everything went wrong.

_That day was supposed to be the best. But, instead, it made everything worse. Everything went wrong that day. Everything! Why did the Wizard have to do that to us? Why? We did nothing wrong. But, Elphaba _wanted_ to see him. No one believed in him more than her._ Glinda sighed. The noise from the celebration below was penetrating the window as more and more people got themselves drunk.

She hadn't left her room the whole day. The maids left her alone. Glinda wished they didn't. She needed _some_ company. No one came to visit her. Kids acting on a dare would run a circle around her house, or throw a rock at her window. So far, it hadn't broken. The kid who actually broke it would be sorry. Glinda would have them punished… if she even cared anymore.

If it weren't for the promise she'd made, Glinda would've tried to convince the ozians about the truth, but she was also afraid that, like Elphaba had told her, they'd turn against her. She wouldn't be able to bear it if their hate were directed at her. _Oh, Elphie, what should I do?_

Glinda found herself asking for Elphaba's help more and more often than usual. She rarely left the palace, anymore. Oz had to rely on itself, for a change. Things went on. The citizens of the Emerald City took pains to avoid Glinda's house. And when it was unavoidable, their eyes never strayed to the face at the window. Glinda watched them go by. She always watched. She saw boys laughing and pointing, she saw the sympathetic faces of the women, she saw the confused looks from girls, she saw the pained expressions on the men's faces. She saw everything, but did nothing. Just like before… at the time of her false engagement to Fiyero.

"Oh, Fiyero, what have I done?" she whispered to no one. "This isn't how it was meant to be. Nothing should ever have to end up like this. No one should have to deal with this." Her voice grew even softer, if that was even possible. "I lost everything that day. That day fifteen years ago. Everything went wrong!" Glinda found herself screaming, now, though, when her voice rose, she didn't know. "Wrong, wrong, wrong! It shouldn't be this way! She needn't have died! I could've saved her! Why didn't I come out of hiding? Why?" Glinda went over to her bed, and fell into an uneasy sleep, her dreams haunted by her best friend's face.

* * *

Gabrielle wandered the streets of the Emerald City until she found the one she was looking for. It was deserted, but it wasn't like she didn't expect it to be crowded with the celebration. "Hah, some celebration. It's a celebration of _death_. Death, even of one who is supposedly Wicked, it's still wrong. Death should be mourned, not celebrated. But, is there anyone to mourn her? I don't even know her _name!_ Nobody would tell me," she muttered under her breath. "Whatever her name was, I doubt anyone would be named it today." 

She hadn't realized that her pace had slowed. Gabrielle kept her eyes peeled for the house she was looking for. _403, 404…Ah, here it is, number 405._ She stopped in front of a white brick house with a golden archway. She took the time to notice that there was someone looking directly at her from a second-story window. A woman, with ragged gray curls falling past her shoulders. _Glinda. So this _is_ her house, after all. I hope she'll accept a visitor. _

Gabrielle _did_ have a reason to want to see Glinda. And she wasn't sure if this was the right day to do it. Since she'd found the house, she decided to wait until tomorrow to show Glinda the photo. It didn't seem right, considering the day, and all. So, she walked back to her house, the image of Glinda stuck in her mind. She looked… distant, haunted. Gabrielle couldn't tell why. She'd had everything, after all. And she just… lost it. Everyone said the responsibility must've gotten to her. That she couldn't handle the pressure. People that had known her at Shiz University said that she'd gone to the city one day and came back… changed. They said that the Wizard had proclaimed her "Glinda the Good" that day, but she didn't seem happy when she got back.

"She was always frilly, and bubbly," Gabrielle was told.

"I don't think she'd ever had any other concerns other than what she would wear that day!" others said. But, Gabrielle wasn't sure. People had feelings. To them, Glinda was just… Good, nothing more. She had feelings, she's a sentient being for Oz's sake. She wasn't just a social icon. She was more than that. And I need to know what she _really_ is. Behind the fake smiles.

* * *

That night, Gabrielle slept fitfully. She dreamed of false titles, mistaken identities, and a woman crying. None of it made sense to Gabrielle. As soon as she woke up, she took her shower, and put on a black dress. She braided her hair and set off for Glinda's house. 

Gabrielle's thoughts were so muddled from images from her dream, that she passed up Glinda's house the first time. Cursing, she turned around and walked straight up to the front door before she lost the nerve. Kids stared at her as she knocked and asked the maid if she could see Glinda.

"Well, I'll see if she'll let you in, but she's very secluded, these days. Mutters in her sleep, too. If we could help her, we would," the maid told her.

"Oh, how sad!" Gabrielle replied. "But, doesn't anyone know what caused her to be that way? I mean, something had to do it. And don't say it was the responsibility! I've had enough of that garbage. So, _when_ did her health start failing?"

"Not really sure, meself, to be honest. One of the older workers says it started at the death of the Wicked Witch! But, that's when she took power, too. When the Wizard left unexpectedly. I guess it could've been either. But, she must be lonely. No one ever comes to visit her. No one!" The maid didn't look all that surprised. "Ah, here we are."

She knocked on the door and called softly, "Miss Glinda? Miss Glinda, there's a young lady here who wishes to see you. Shall I let her in?"

"Yes. Fine. Send her in," came Glinda's muffled reply.

Surprised, the maid opened the door and stepped aside to let Gabrielle in. "Would you like some tea?"

Glinda looked at Gabrielle, signaling that she should answer. "Uh… no thank you," she said, and walked in.

"What is it that you wanted?" Glinda asked, plastering on a smile.

"You don't have to pretend for me, I don't mind. I just need to ask you something," Gabrielle said.

Glinda's smile faltered and eventually fell off. "Wh-What do you want? If you're here to tell me to come to some party celebrating the death of the W-Wicked Witch of the West, I'm not going. Don't waste your breath."

"That's not why I'm here. I think it's wrong to celebrate the passing of a person. Death is death, and should be mourned, not celebrated. But, there's no one to mourn her. No one cared." Gabrielle looked straight into Glinda's eyes, and saw the same haunted look she'd seen in her features the day before. At the mention that no one cared, Glinda's eyes showed extreme sadness. _Could she trust her? Does it even matter anymore?_ "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you…" she broke off.

"N-No, you didn't. Please, just… what did you want to show me?" Glinda said in an oddly flat voice.

"I, um… I was looking through my mom's old yearbook from Shiz, and I found an… interesting picture there. I guess I just… had to know the truth." She pulled the yearbook from her bag. Opening it to the bookmarked page, she pointed to the picture and showed Glinda.

**(Glinda's POV …sort of…)**

Glinda gasped. It was a picture of her… _and Elphaba._ Even though the page was in black-and-white, you could still tell that Elphaba was… well, green. They were in front of Elphaba's favorite tree to read under, she even had a thick book under her arm. Her other arm was wrapped around Glinda's shoulder—in friendship. Both of them beamed at the camera, both truly happy. There… sticking out of Elphaba's book was the reason: the letter from the Wizard. This was taken the day before they left for the Emerald City. Forgotten conversations played themselves in Glinda's mind.

"Elphie…" Glinda whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "Oh, Elphie. Look at us… you melted and me broken."

"So it's true. You were her friend!" Gabrielle's voice cut off Glinda's thoughts.

**A/N: Ohh! Aren't I evil! Cliffhanger! All right, whacha think, like, or no. I won't be able to tell unless you REVIEW! So, um… another update soon. 'Kay?**


	2. Trouble

**A/N: Okay, I realized that I didn't put up a disclaimer on the last chapter, sorry! So, here's the update. Oh, and thanks for putting up with the mistakes in the last chapter!**

**Disclaimer: This is _FAN_fiction. As in, written by a FAN! Therefore, Wicked cast belongs to Gregory, Stephen, and Winnie. **

**Ghosts of Her Past—Chapter 2- Trouble **

_"So it's true, you were her friend!…" _

Glinda stared at Gabrielle with dull, lifeless eyes. Her spark was gone. Unknowingly, Gabrielle said the one thing Glinda couldn't handle.

"I, we… it wasn't… she—" Glinda struggled to lie. Anything, but she couldn't. Not anymore. Thirty-year-old Glinda could do it, but it'd been too long. Too much time had gone by. "Yes. I was her only friend. And she was my _best_ friend." Glinda lowed her head, either in defeat, or shame, it wasn't clear.

Gabrielle was speechless. She couldn't believe Glinda had given up so easily. And, instead of helping—as was originally intended—she'd just pushed Glinda farther down her road of insanity.

"Glinda, I… I didn't mean that… I'm sorry," she managed. "I just thought… no, I didn't think. Pictures don't lie."

"No, it isn't your fault. Oz should've known years ago. But I was afraid. Afraid that their hate would get directed at me. And, I'd made a promise. A promise to my only _true_ friend." Glinda's voice was rough and throaty, as if she was holding back tears.

"But… what happened? Wasn't she Wicked? The Wizard and Madame Morrible—"

"The Wizard is gone, and Morrible died in Southstairs. There is no reason to bring them up," Glinda interrupted with a fire blazing in her eyes.

"Uh… right. So, the 'Wicked Witch' stuff isn't true? But then, how can one lie spread through all of Oz like a wildfire. Couldn't somebody have corrected that, before is was second nature to say?"

Every syllable of that sentence was like a dagger to Glinda's heart. She was the one who could've stopped it. _She _could've helped Elphaba. Now it was too late. Now, everyone had left Glinda. She was alone with her guilt. Alone with her grief.

"I-I could've—_should've_—but I didn't. N-No one saw past her _wicked_ title. Not one person remembered Elphaba Thropp." The tears that had threatened to fall finally fell from Glinda's eyes.

Gabrielle's heart lurched. She know knew the Witch's name. But, it broke at the sight of Glinda's tears. She didn't know what to do. Should she try to comfort her? Should she leave?

"Uh… I'm sorry, Lady Glinda, I'll just be going then—" Gabrielle said awkwardly.

"N-No! S-Stay. You deserve to know the truth." Glinda attempted to smile, but failed miserably.

Gabrielle walked back over to the stool she'd been sitting on. "Okay, I'm listening."

Glinda told her about her and Elphaba as reluctant roommates. She told her about the day at the Ozdust ballroom. She told her about "Galinda-fying" Elphaba. About the letter that came from the Wizard. About their trip to the Emerald City. And, finally, about their last parting moment.

When she finished, Gabrielle was stunned. "Uh… so… sh-she's not… I was wrong. Glinda, I feel like I have to apologize to you."

"No, you don't have too. You were raised to believe lies. Lies that you had no reason not to believe. It's the _Wizard_ that should apologize." Gabrielle was stunned. Glinda had practically spat out the word. "He ruined everything!"

"I-I'm sorry," Gabrielle interrupted. "I'm sorry he did this to you. I'm sorry I once celebrated her death. But, I was young. As I got older, and experienced the death of someone close to me, I realized that it was the same with the Wick—Elphaba. It is wrong to celebrate death. The Munchkins treat the death of Nessarose like a holiday. It's wrong. It needs to be stopped."

It was Glinda's turn to be stunned. Here was the person to help her to finally clear Elphaba's name. _But, should we? I made a promise to a friend. I should probably respect her last wishes. She would've wanted it that way. She wouldn't make me promise it if she was going to come back. I waited too long for that. Elphie, I have to move on. I've mourned enough. You'll always have a place in my heart._

"No!" Glinda was surprised at the forcefulness in her voice. "We can't. I m-made that promise and I intend to keep it with me to the grave."_ Which isn't too far off._

"Don't you think we should at least stop the celebration next year. I've watched you. Year by year, I watched. I saw many things. I looked up to you, much like Elphaba did to the Wizard. I was crushed when you just gave up. I needed to figure out what went wrong. So I did the research. I was about to give up when I found the picture. I was going to come here yesterday, but it didn't seem right. Now I know what happened. I'd be the same way if it were me. No, if it were me, I wouldn't be able to handle it. I don't know how you did." Gabrielle looked up and into Glinda's eyes. She saw something that hadn't been there in fifteen years: hope.

"I… I don't know how to respond to that. You've done what no one else dared to do. My classmates knew I was friends with Elphaba. They didn't question me when I got back. When I finally saw Elphaba again, it wasn't in good circumstances. We were in the Wizard's throne room. Fiyero had been pointing his gun at him to s-save dear Elphie. I tried to cover for him, but they ran off together. I didn't know what to do. That sort of thing never happened to me before. I didn't get my way. I learned something that day."

Glinda struggled to sing that song.

"_Don't wish,  
_"_Don't start,  
__"Wishing only wounds the heart…"_

She couldn't manage the rest.

"Oh, Glinda. You don't have to be this way. You can still be the head of Oz. You can have all you've ever wanted."

Glinda's own words came back to her through this girl. _Why couldn't I make Elphie understand she was having delusions of grandeur? She could've been with the Wizard…and there'd be no Animals left. That _scoundrel_ would still be ruling us. How could I have been so stupid? I should've gone with her. But now I can't. I just wish I could go back. But, there's no way. I never learned to read the Grimmerie. Oh, Elphaba, why did you have to go? Why did you leave me? I could've stopped that bucket. I should've. Maybe that would've just made things worse. They would've probably thought that I'd been under a spell of hers. That's just rich. Real rich. They were—_are—_just so _dense._ They always were, too. _Glinda thought back to the time of her engagement party. They didn't notice that _Glinda_ asked Fiyero. Fiyero just kind of went with it. And when he ran off… _I should've seen the happenings between him and Elphaba. If I did, could things have turned out differently? _

"Everything went wrong! Everyone died!" Glinda hadn't realized that she was voicing her thoughts, much to Gabrielle's fear.

"Glinda! What's wrong? You keep spacing out and now you just say this out of nowhere? What's happened to you?" her face was sympathetic.

"I-I'm getting older." Glinda saw a movement out of the corner of her eye. _Could it be? _No._ Stop doing this to yourself. It'll only make it worse._ She looked out her window again.

_"Who can say, if I've been changed for the better, but…  
_"_Because I knew you…  
_"_I have been changed…  
_"_For good."_

Gabrielle stared at Glinda. There was something she hadn't been told. Something was missing.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I hope you liked chapter 2. Please review, I need motivation to write the third chapter. Um… unless I'm convinced otherwise, six reviews 'till next chapter. Uh… that's it, now REVIEW!**


	3. The Land of WhatMightHaveBeen

**A/N: All right, that's seven, but I was on a camping trip, so I didn't have time to finish this chapter, so I'm sorry it took so long.**

**Ghosts of Her Past—Chapter Three—The Land of What-Might-Have-Been**

"_Something was missing."_

Glinda stared at Gabrielle with hollow eyes. Her gaze rested on the yearbook without really seeing it. Long-buried memories resurfaced themselves. Elphaba's laughter rang in her ears. Tears left her eyes without her noticing. _Oh, Elphie, forgive me for telling. I had to. Please understand. Please._

"Glinda, I really should be going, it's almost lunchtime, and I have to feed my Cat." Glinda snapped back to reality.

"Oh, all right. You may—wait, did you say you had a Cat?" Glinda was confused.

"Yes, I have her food in my pocket, I had to pick some up." She showed her.

"Oh… you can go." The haunted look—that had disappeared when she was talking about Elphaba—returned to Glinda's eyes.

"Do you want me to stay?" Gabrielle almost hated to ask.

Glinda didn't answer, but her eyes showed that she wanted to.

"Okay, I'll stay. But, could someone take this to my house?"

"Go ask the maid at the door," Glinda said almost mechanically.

**(Gabrielle's POV)**

"Okay." Gabrielle walked out into the hall, and back the way she came to the front door. "Um… excuse me? Glinda wanted me to stay, but I need to feed my Cat, could you have someone take this to her?" She held out a small bag.

"Sure, I'll have a lunch for you sent up with Glinda's." the maid replied.

"All right." Gabrielle turned and went back to Glinda's room.

Inside, she could hear the sound of Glinda crying, and almost silent moans of "Elphie" or "Why did you have to go?" She knocked and entered when Glinda answered.

**(Glinda's POV again, starting a few seconds earlier)**

Glinda hastily wiped her eyes when she heard Gabrielle's knock.

"Come in."

Gabrielle walked in tentatively, as if she didn't want to interrupt.

"Um… Glinda? I realized that I never told you my name," Gabrielle said awkwardly. "It's Gabrielle."

_Gabrielle._ The name stuck an odd chord in Glinda's mind. It reminded her of something…but what? Was it in a dream? Or a dream of a dream?

"Nice to meet you, Gabrielle," Glinda said, and she slowly extended a wrinkled hand to shake. And just like that, Glinda felt she could trust Gabrielle. She'd connected with someone else—a hard feat since Elphaba died.

Gabrielle stared into Glinda's eyes and saw happiness and… betrayal? She was again struck with the thought that Glinda hadn't told her something.

"Glinda, is-is there anything you need to say? Anything at all? I can assure you that it would never leave this room."

_Could she handle that truth? Could I handle the effort of telling it? Would Elphaba have wanted it told?_ Glinda's thoughts swirled in the black abyss that was her troubled mind.

"I-I can't." _Can I? _"I r-really can't." _Elphie wouldn't want it, would she? Elphie… Elphie come back to me. Please, I need your opinions, your sarcasm, your intelligence, your individuality, your seriousness. I'm nothing without you. Nothing but a lost frilly, bubbly social icon gone mad. But… am I crazy? Or are the ozians the crazy ones? Is it my fault that the only other person to know the truth is a teenager that I barely know? Is it their fault that the Wizard lied? The Wizard everything comes back to that day with the Wizard. Everything. _"That stupid man had to come here! Everything that went wrong was because of him! The Animals were almost extinct because of him!" When Glinda saw the blank, confused look on Gabrielle's face, she added, "Gabrielle, can you imagine a world where Animals don't speak? People discriminated the Animals because the Wizard came from a world like that. He tried to turn Oz into a… into a _Kansas_!" Glinda's shriek was heard down the hallway to where the eavesdropping maids stood.

"Glinda, the Wizard was wrong," Gabrielle tried to sooth. "Why didn't people see that? I was too young when he left to see the full extent of things. I was only three! I couldn't understand politics fully until I took political sciences at Shiz." Glinda's eyes widened at the mention of her old school. "It was when I was there that I saw the wrongs of what the Wizard had done. It was when I was there that I questioned the nature of Wickedness. You became my idol. But, I attended your speeches, and I saw… nothing. You were just an icon. An icon of Goodness. I did the research, and you were proclaimed Good without much reason. I'm not saying that you aren't Good, just that there was no reason given. After that, you were Good, but… I don't know. There was just… _something._ I shared your pain when you gave up. I didn't understand it fully until I saw the yearbook. That changed my views completely. I thought it through over and over and over again. Nothing seemed to fit… until I found a written copy of your speech the day of Elphaba's death. An ozian asked if she was your friend, but you said yes, but it was more like, 'our paths did cross, at school, but we were both very young…'"

Glinda was speechless. She'd figured it out. She'd _actually_ figured it out. _And I planted the seeds that bloomed into the truth._ Glinda sighed.

"You-You've done what nobody even tried." Tears slid down Glinda's face again. "Not even my classmates cared why Elphie left. They knew her, but didn't question their former Headmistress. None of them… maybe Fiyero did. I didn't really know him. Not as well as I should have. He was just the airhead pretty boy prince from the Vinkus. Just like I was the airhead from the Uplands." Her voice dropped to barely more than a whisper. "Nobody cared. At all. The only person to _really_ know me is dead. She died because she stood up for what she believed in. She did what was right. And when she asked me to go with her, to help, I said no. I couldn't handle that much of a life-changing situation. I didn't go with her. Instead, I worked for the Wizard. I was the opposite of her. I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway. I was so ashamed when I ran into Elphaba again. It wasn't the best of meetings. She stole Fiyero from me. I didn't know what to do. The next meeting was, again, not very good. She was mad at me for giving Dorothy Nessa's shoes. I was mad at her for Fiyero. We actually got into a fight! I mean, I charged at her with my wand—her with her broom, of course—and we beat each other senseless. Until the guards showed up…" she trailed off, lost in memories.

"Lady Glinda! I've got yours and your guest's lunch!" the maid's voice rang out.

Glinda nodded to Gabrielle to get it. She opened the door and accepted the tray (a little over-enthusiastically) and set it on Glinda's desk. She pulled the lid off one of the plates and started eating. Glinda took hers, but mostly just stared at it. Gabrielle was concerned, she didn't think Glinda'd eaten much breakfast, either.

Glinda took a few bites with much effort. She abandoned her sandwich and stared out the window until Gabrielle finished. They said little, and neither wanted to break the silence. Finally, Gabrielle said, "Glinda, are you sure you can't tell the ozians? At all?"

_Would that really work? Could I really tell them? But, would they believe me? Me, the supposed crazy social icon. No, they wouldn't. Or couldn't… Would they?_

"I-I… I don't know," she managed. "I really don't know." _Do I?_

"Okay." _Is she too quick to agree with me? Am I too quick in my decisions? Yes, I am. If I'd thought through Elphaba's plan, maybe I would've gone with her. Maybe I wouldn't have given Nessa's shoes to Dorothy until Elphaba got there. Maybe everything would've turned out okay. Maybe._

_NO! I'm doing it again! Don't go to the land of 'What-Might-Have-Been'! Stay in Oz. Stay in reality. Stay focused. Don't do this again. Not again. Not again…_

**A/N: Okay, shorter chapter, I know, but I wanted to get it finished. I started this on Sunday, but we left for camp Monday. So, I tried to finish this yesterday, but I got stuck. So, please review this bad chapter, I promise that the next one will be better!**


	4. A Friend You Can Count On

**A/N: I'm _so_ sorry it's taking me forever to update. I went to Virginia Beach with my dad all of last week and school started yesterday. So, I hope this chapter is better than I think it is.**

**Ghosts of Her Past—Chapter Four: A Friend You Can Count On**

_"'Not again. Not again…' "_

_Why do I do this to myself? _Stop thinking about it!_ Stop it. Just… stop. _Thoughts swirled in Glinda's already reeling mind.

"Glinda?" Gabrielle broke her concentration. "Are you okay? You keep spacing out, and yelling things seemingly out of nowhere."

_Am I okay? _"N-No. I'm not okay. My best friend is dead, Oz thinks she was a terror, and now I've been reduced to spilling my heart out to the only person to visit me in a long, _long,_ time_—_and a teenager at that!"

Glinda's words stung. "I-I want to be more than just a teenager to you. I want to help you get out of this… emotional slump you've been in. I can't make the pain go away, but I _can_ share it with you. I will mourn Elphaba. I will try to take some of the weight off of your shoulders. I can help."

_Can that really happen? Can I still be helped? Hasn't it been too long for that? I needed consoling fifteen years ago. Fifteen! Help always comes too late. If there is an Unnamed God out there, why hasn't He put me out of my misery? Why hasn't He helped me? Elphaba's father—what was his name? Frexspar?—was a unionist to the Unnamed God, and look at the children he had… Oh, right… Elphaba isn't his child. That stupid Wizard just left Melena pregnant. He was a jerk even _before_ he rose to power. _Glinda tried to choke out some of her thoughts without success. Gabrielle kept staring, and Glinda couldn't find her voice to tell her to stop. _Elphie, what's happened to me? I shouldn't be this way. I wish it could've turned out differently than it did. Things shouldn't end like that!_

Tears welled up in her eyes again, and Gabrielle finally looked away at the sight. Glinda was ashamed to be in this state with her only company. She couldn't help it. Things tended to bottle up and build when there's no one to trust. Still, happiness isn't easily obtained—at least, _true_ happiness isn't.

"Glinda, please," Gabrielle said, "I want to be able to help you, but I can't if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"What's wrong? My life went wrong! My whole kingdom collapsed on me! I lost _everything_! Well, not everything… just the things that mattered." The tears finally fell down Glinda's wrinkled cheeks. "Nothing was the same. Nothing will _ever_ be the same anymore. Not for me, or even all of Oz!"

"But, how would this affect the rest of Oz? As far as I can tell, the only really affected lives are yours, Elphaba's, Boq's, and Fiyero's," Gabrielle said.

"_Only_ ours? Gabrielle, have you forgotten already the things I've told you about Elphaba at school? She could've been a great politician! I could've been more than an icon! Boq might not've been much, but he'd still be _something!_ Fiyero would've inherited the Vinkus from his father, and him and Elphaba could've gotten officially married. Don't you see? This isn't how it was meant to be. Not at all how it should be." Glinda ended the conversation with a flick of her wrist.

Gabrielle glanced at the clock. "Dear me, Glinda! I seem to have stayed much longer than I should have. I'll be back tomorrow."

"Goodbye, then," Glinda responded stiffly.

Gabrielle walked out of Glinda's house with her mind almost as troubled as Glinda's was. Almost.

**(PAGEBREAK! The stupid document manager isn't working right. So there!)**

Over the next few days, Gabrielle continued to visit Glinda. She learned more and more about how much Glinda cared for her lost friends. Her pity for the depleted social icon increased day by day. She tried to convince her friends to see Glinda, too, but they wouldn't listen.

"She's crazy!" "You aren't serious!" "No, way!" she got in reply. They believed the rumors flitting about.

Aspirated, she went to ask the last person to come with her, her friend Karrossa.

Gabrielle walked up to Karrossa's house and knocked on the door. The manservant answered, and immediately led Gabrielle to the living room. Soon, Karrossa came in.

"Hi, Gabrielle!" she exclaimed.

"Hey, Karrossa," Gabrielle replied. "Listen, I wanted to ask you something, and you have to promise not to say anything until I'm done, okay?"

"Um… okay." Karrossa had a bad feeling about this.

"Well, I'm sure you've heard that I've been visiting Glinda the Good recently." Karrossa nodded. "You see, I was wondering if you'd want to come with me. I have a little… theory that I need to test, and I need your help. So, will you come?"

Karrossa thought for a moment. "All right. I'll come," she said at last.

"Really? That'd be great! I'll come and get you before I head there tomorrow." Gabrielle was ecstatic. Karrossa would come! Finally, someone to see if her little experiment would work.

**(PAGEBREAK!)**

The next day, Gabrielle did as she said she would and went to pick up Karrossa. Together, they walked to Glinda's house. Karrossa hesitated a little on the front walk, but she kept her nerve.

Gabrielle knocked on the door, and the familiar maid came and took them to Glinda's room.

**(Glinda's POV)**

Glinda was shocked when Gabrielle came into her room—like she did everyday—with a frightened-looked girl, about Gabrielle's age, with shoulder-length, wavy red hair and piercing emerald green eyes.

_Emerald…_

_"Oh, Elphie, look at you! You look positively emerald!" _

Tears blurred her vision again, but she fought them off. She _would not_ let this stranger see her cry. At least… she hoped so.

Gabrielle introduced her friend as Karrossa. Glinda responded in a wavering, throaty voice, "Nice to meet you."

Glinda didn't know what Gabrielle wanted her to say—and it was no doubt some wacky thing of Gabrielle's that Karrossa was here in the first place.

"Um… Karrossa… there's something you should know about Glinda…" _Oh, no! Gabrielle, you won't! _"She… she's not mad." _Well, at least she didn't mention what I thought! _"She's actually very intelligent, if you listen to her thoughts."

At this, Glinda raised a trembling hand. "Please, enough flattery. Just, lets get started up where we left off yesterday… if Karrossa knows about… about—you know." Glinda didn't want to say_ Elphaba_ outloud incase Karrossa _didn't_ know.

"Um…" Gabrielle seemed very awkward… _too_ awkward. What was she thinking! She knows what I go through every morning! "Well… you see… I've got this little… experiment I needed to try. And, well, Karrossa agreed to come here. So, I think we should tell her. Maybe if she understands, the rest of Oz will."

Glinda was stunned. "O-O… okay. She can know. Karrossa, do you remember the… the _holiday_ last week? The one I've _refused_ to celebrate for a while now?"

"You mean the-the death of the Wicked Witch?" Karrossa asked with wide eyes.

"Yes," Glinda answered through gritted teeth from Elphaba's stupid nickname. "That's the one. Didn't you ever wonder _why? _Why I gave up on it? Why I never liked that stupid day?"

It was Karrossa's chance to be stunned. "Uh… no. Never. I guess I didn't. And I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You were raised that way. Well. Go ahead, ask," Glinda said with a sort-of half-smile.

"All right. Why did you quit?" Karrossa really didn't want to ask, but she knew better than to defy Glinda the Good.

Glinda took a deep breath. _Here goes everything. _"Well, there's a simple reason. She was best friend."

**A/N: HAH! Cliffhanger… because I ran out of ideas. I'll _try_ to update weekly. _Try._ I'm not promising, so don't send me any nasty personal messages saying 'You said you'd update, and you didn't! OMG, I hate you!' Okay, I'm exaggerating here, but _still!_**


	5. Explanations

**A/N: Sorry if this is a bit morbid, not in the best of moods. I fell… _again._ Please don't ask.**

**I WOULD LIKE TO ISSUE A PUBLIC THANK YOU TO MY ONLY REVIEWER FOR THE LAST CHAPTER: THE-WICKED-HAVE-MORE-FUN!**

**Ghosts of Her Past—Chapter Five: Explanations**

"'_She was my best friend.'"_

Karrossa was stunned speechless. "I… you, she, and… Oz thinks…" she managed.

Glinda just kept smiling her little half-smile. "Go on," she urged. "Say something."

Karrossa's eyes flashed suspiciously. "You're-You're kidding, right. Yes, that's it. You're just kidding me. Gabrielle knows how gullible I am. This is all just a joke." She sounded as if she were trying to convince herself.

"No, Karrossa, that's not it," Gabrielle cut in. "Do you want to see want made me believe?" She nodded. "All right. Here." Gabrielle pulled out the yearbook from her bag, and opened it to the page she'd shown Glinda.

Karrossa gasped. "It… it's true then… She… _What's going on!_ She was Wicked! You were Good! Wicked and Good don't go together!"

Glinda almost laughed, but her vocal chords seemed incapable of doing that anymore. "No she wasn't, just a highly opinionated girl who stood up for what she believed in."

"But… but… she was _green!"_ Karrossa almost screamed.

"Let me show you both something." Glinda rose uneasily from her desk chair, some bone cracking loudly.

She walked slowly over to her wardrobe, and pulled out… an ancient-looking book, the black pointed hat and a strange little green bottle.

"Is that… The _Grimmerie?"_ Gabrielle asked with wonder. _"Her Grimmerie?"_

"Yes it is." Glinda's voice cracked horribly, a tear escaping. "This…"—indicating the hat—"I gave her. Don't believe I was her friend still? well, here's your proof. Why would I keep the old thing if it didn't mean something to me? And here"—this time, she held up the bottle—"this was her mother's. I think it might explain why she's green. Now, still don't believe me?" Nobody said anything. "Didn't think so. Now, Karrossa, you have to understand, she… my Elphie… Look, we didn't always like each other. In fact, we _loathed_ each other at first. Now, that all changed the day I gave Elphaba this hat…"

And, just like that, three people knew the truth. It wasn't spectacular, but it was a start. Maybe, if enough people would believe, we could…

_Stop! I'm doing it _again!_ Please, why can't I just die in peace? I've served my purpose… haven't I? Is there something else I'm meant to do in this lifetime? I just want to go to the lifetime my poor Elphie went to. I know she's waiting for me, somewhere… somewhere…_

**(PAGEBREAK!)**

Karrossa visited Glinda with Gabrielle almost every other day. They talked, and, though she didn't fully understand their friendship, she swore she wouldn't say anything.

Before Glinda knew it, Gabrielle walked into her room holding a frilly pink box. _Galinda would've approved. _

"Happy three-week anniversary, Glinda. Three weeks ago today, I walked in here for the first time. So, here." She held out the gift.

Glinda was touched. She hadn't gotten a present in years. "Gabrielle, I… I can't accept this. I didn't get you anything!"

"That's okay, Glinda. I didn't expect anything in return. So, here," Gabrielle replied as she pushed the present into Glinda's hands. She reluctantly began to untie the green ribbon.

"_Pink goes good with green!"_

She froze, and tears slid down her cheeks again. _Elphie… how stupid I was. I treated you like just a pretty green doll that I could dress up. I'm sorry I tried to change you. I'm sorry about the things I'd said. I didn't mean to call you an artichoke that time. The truth was… I was jealous of you. You claimed attention away from me, and I didn't like it. So, I used that to my advantage. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things I've done you blame me for._

"Glinda, are you still here?" Gabrielle cut off Glinda's thoughts.

Glinda sighed. "Yes, I just… remembered something." She pulled the ribbon off and carefully set it aside and opened up the box, and gasped.

Inside there was a hand-made picture-frame with the words: _Best Friends Are Never Left Behind._ In the frame, Gabrielle had colored the picture from the yearbook. Glinda let more tears escape.

"Gabrielle, I… I don't know what to say. Thank you. I really mean it. You-You couldn't know how much this means to me. _Thank you._"

Gabrielle smiled. "You're welcome. I knew you'd like it."

Glinda didn't know what she could do in return. "Gabrielle, if you could have any item in Oz, what would it be?"

"As I've already said, you don't have to get me anything," Gabrielle replied.

"But, I do. I really do. So, anything. What would you have?" The desperation was in her voice. She couldn't keep it out.

"Access to the noble's library. They charge a fee to everyone else. I don't have the money to pay their price." Her was so honest, it broke Glinda's heart.

"Done. I'll give you the money to become a member." Gabrielle's face lit up.

"Really, you would do that, for me?"

"I would do anything for you, Miss Gabrielle…" Glinda gave a sharp intake of breath.

Boq… oh, Boq why didn't I just dance with you once? You wouldn't be made out of tin if I had. Please, forgive me.

"Glinda, are you okay?" _Why does she keep asking me that?_

"Y-Yes, I'm… not going to lie to you," Glinda said. "I'm really _not_ fine. I just… Boq, and me, in the Ozdust, and… oh, why do I have to go through this? Why can't the next time I go to sleep be the last? Why can't I leave?"

"Glinda, you may _think_ you're done, but you're not. Look at you, you're much better off then three weeks ago."

She's right. Now, I can confess my feelings, and the weight of what I know isn't as heavy when you've got someone to help you carry it.

She sighed. "Gabrielle, I… I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. I can't say enough times how much I look forward to your visits. I just… I don't know what would've happened to me if you didn't. I wan on my way to becoming an empty shell. I couldn't even leave the room for a while. Still, you don't know what a relief leaving it all behind would be." _And, I could see Elphaba again._

"Isn't there anything left here that you cherish? Anything at all?" Gabrielle seemed to be trying to convince Glinda why she needed to live.

Glinda looked straight up into Gabrielle's eyes, and replied, "Everything worth living for me is dead. Dead and gone."

**A/N: Um… yeah. That took _forever_** **for me to finish. Sorry 'bout that. Reviews make me work faster :-)**


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